on parenting style

Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. - Proverbs 22:6

I am beginning to wonder what kind of parents would we become as the years go by. Right now, it is still too early to tell whether or not hubby and I will have the same parenting style as our daughter grows up.

I've read from psychology.about.com about the four styles of parenting - authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, and uninvolved.

How about discussing each one of them?

  •  Authoritarian style - Children are expected to follow rules by virtue of the authority as parents; a style where children are only expected to totally obey their parents. Period. No questions asked. Bang!
  •  Authoritative style - This style is somewhat like a modified or better version of the authoritarian style where parents would make it clear to their children that they have rules within the family to follow but making sure that the children would understand the rationale behind those rules. Authoritative parents welcome questions and are always ready to answer when they are asked.
  •  Permissive style - I would probably think of it as the 'submissive' style wherein parents would usually give in to the wishes of their children because they think that their children can learn by making their own decisions and taking the consequences of their own decisions.
  •  Uninvolved parenting - More or less, this is the manner of parenting that does not go beyond providing for their children's fundamental necessities; or worse, none of these needs are even provided.
They say, parenting style varies from one culture to another, or from parent to parent, depending on the type of discipline that your children would need. As for me, I took the quiz and I am more less leaning towards being more on the "authoritative" and little bit of being "permissive". But, we'll see. Definitely, I would never adopt the "uninvolved" style because I believe that there should be involvement in parenting.

How about you? Which parenting style do you think you can adopt or are already adopting to your children? In my opinion, the parenting style of both parents should never contradict each other so that children do not go to the other partner for permission and create conflict.


  1. I don't know what our parenting style is. I wouldn't want to label it, but I don't know if it fits anything on the list. LOL. Not too strict and not too lenient---so maybe authoritative and permissive combined? ;)

    I'll tell you what though; it's different from my parent's parenting style growing up. (Borderline authoritarian...Ahahahah!)

  2. Like you I would probably be between authoritative and permissive styles. Rules and parenting styles were clearer when my wife was here to take care of our children. But when she went to the US to work, I found out that I have to adjust my style of parenting. Whereas before when I was the disciplinarian and my wife would spoil them, I was left alone to rear and nurture them. I have to delineate the role of father and mother to them which was very hard at the start. I have to be extra tender to them for they begin to become rebellious when I impose my will on them. In due time, I learned to relax my strict reign on them, and let them have their freedom to lead their lives so long as they don't go overboard. Oh yes, I still discipline them from time to time as the need arises. Thanks for the informative post. God bless you all always.

  3. i know this is a long overdue reply to your comments.. but thank you bchai and brother mel for your comments..

    @bchai: borderline authoritarian sounds like an interesting parenting style :-)

    @brother mel: i'm impressed you were able to play your role as a father (and mother at the same time) to your children..