on parenting style

Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. - Proverbs 22:6

I am beginning to wonder what kind of parents would we become as the years go by. Right now, it is still too early to tell whether or not hubby and I will have the same parenting style as our daughter grows up.

I've read from psychology.about.com about the four styles of parenting - authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, and uninvolved.

How about discussing each one of them?

  •  Authoritarian style - Children are expected to follow rules by virtue of the authority as parents; a style where children are only expected to totally obey their parents. Period. No questions asked. Bang!
  •  Authoritative style - This style is somewhat like a modified or better version of the authoritarian style where parents would make it clear to their children that they have rules within the family to follow but making sure that the children would understand the rationale behind those rules. Authoritative parents welcome questions and are always ready to answer when they are asked.
  •  Permissive style - I would probably think of it as the 'submissive' style wherein parents would usually give in to the wishes of their children because they think that their children can learn by making their own decisions and taking the consequences of their own decisions.
  •  Uninvolved parenting - More or less, this is the manner of parenting that does not go beyond providing for their children's fundamental necessities; or worse, none of these needs are even provided.
They say, parenting style varies from one culture to another, or from parent to parent, depending on the type of discipline that your children would need. As for me, I took the quiz and I am more less leaning towards being more on the "authoritative" and little bit of being "permissive". But, we'll see. Definitely, I would never adopt the "uninvolved" style because I believe that there should be involvement in parenting.

How about you? Which parenting style do you think you can adopt or are already adopting to your children? In my opinion, the parenting style of both parents should never contradict each other so that children do not go to the other partner for permission and create conflict.


parental worries

If there's anything that worries parents about their children - it is always primarily on the aspect of health. Thankfully, our daughter hasn't had any major health concerns ever since although she's been sniffling lately due to a common cold. This started last Sunday when we decided to bring her to church with us. It was still hot at four p.m. when we left the house and commuted our way to church.

I'm tempted to buy her over-the-counter medicine for the common cold but husband said we will just let her drink lots of water and double her dosage of vitamin C. He didn't want our daughter to be always taking medicines.

Right now, there's another tooth coming. So, sometimes she goes fussy but most of the time she's still the cheerful baby Pauline.

I wonder 'when is the right time to let her take medicine?'


on keeping fit and healthy

There comes a time when a woman needs to stop thinking about her looks and focus her energies on raising her children.  This time comes at the moment of conception.  A child needs a role model, not a supermodel.  ~Astrid Alauda, on the "hot mom" trend

The quote above is like a "consuelo" to me. A consuelo is like something that helps make me feel better about myself. While it is true that we do need to prioritize raising our child(ren) more than looking great, I realize that we also need to take care of ourselves not only because we want our husbands not to look at other pretty girls out there but because it is also something that we owe to ourselves.

I was looking at the singer Vina Morales on television. I believe I gave birth months earlier than she did but look at her now, I think she looked sexier now that she's a mom. It didn't look like she had surgery or something because I know surgeries aren't advisable for women who just gave birth. I wonder how most moms can get back in shape while I'm struggling to make my fat belly and flabby arms to be a little less obvious. Hahaha but in this photo, I was brave enough to show my arms.

Personally, I wasn't dreaming to be in my most perfect shape but I am really hoping that I can actually feel good about myself by getting back in shape. My husband isn't complaining but he keeps joking to me about my belly so that I'd be inspired to lose it by eating less and exercising more.

I believe that to feel good about myself by keeping fit and healthy can help me become a better mom or parent. Husband always reminds me that if we both want to spend more years with my Dip-dip, we had better think about our health. What better way to start being healthy by trying to lose our weight.

I know I am not going to lose weight by blogging about it but it can serve as a helpful reminder of what I have planned to do.


appreciating fatherhood

Any man can be a father.  It takes someone special to be a dad.  ~Author Unknown

The quote above says 'dad'. He chose to have us called 'Papa' and 'Mama" rather than be called "Mom" and "Dad" because he didn't want others to think that we are rich. As for me, I wouldn't have mind us being called "mom" and "dad" by our daughter later on because I believe we don't have to be materially rich to be identified as mom and dad. They only mean one thing - we are parents! Anyway, I didn't want him to be called "Papa" while I would be called  "Mom" by Diane Pauline. They just won't sound perfectly good together. And so, to cut the story short, we are Mama and Papa to Pauline!

Anyway, I couldn't wait for Father's Day to say how thankful I am for hubby for being such a caring husband and a wonderful father to our daughter. When I looked at the pictures of him holding our baby taken a year ago, the memory of my childbirth experience suddenly returns to me.

He said he was scared to know that it's been more than nine hours since I've been in the labor room and he was just outside the room waiting for updates. We didn't expect that I'd be on emergency C-section but after my blood pressure rose during labor, the doctor had decided it was the next best thing to do. He was scared for both me and the baby. And he was also scared because we didn't have enough money on hand at that time for C-section. You can only imagine the tension and his worries. I didn't feel any of that because I was in labor pain. 

Today, I thank God for all the things that we have both endured together.  I thank God for my hubby for always being here as a good husband and father.


when does parenting start?

Here's our opinion on the question. Parenting officially starts from the time of conception. When the woman knows she is pregnant, she makes sure that she looks after herself even more because she has a baby growing inside her. Come to think of it, parenting should start right before conception. Parenting is such a big responsibility that you need to make sure you are ready for it - mentally, physically, emotionally and financially.

Ask yourself the following questions:

Am I mentally prepared for parenthood? Am I already equipped with knowledge about parenting?
Although parenting is said to be a work in progress and that no amount of books can ever really assure you to become an expert parent, it really helps to have at least some knowledge about what it really takes to become a parent.

Am I physically prepared for it?
Couples need to keep themselves in the best of health. Although it is usually the woman or the expectant mother who has to go through labor, she also needs support from her partner especially after she delivers their baby into the world.

Am I emotionally prepared for it? Am I up for the challenge of being a parent?
Emotional stability is important, especially for the woman who has to go through the whole pregnancy. On the other hand, the husband or the partner also has to be emotionally ready to become a responsible father himself. There are some husbands who might feel less loved and cared for because they think that their babies would compete against the attention and the affection that they used to get from their wives.

Am I financially prepared for it?
Couples need to know that you can not just say you are ready for parenthood without looking at the financial aspect of it. Love, as a feeling alone, is not just enough. As parents, you need to translate that love into actions. Parents do not need to become the richest parents in the world in order to become responsible parents but they need to make sure that they can be able and have the capability to provide, whatever it takes, for their children's needs.


our life as parents - the birth

This blog is all about our life as parents... 

In this blog, I hope to write about my thoughts about parenting and our life with hubby as parents that is also closely related to our being a couple.

This is not to say that yours truly is an expert at parenting. This is created not only for the readers to know what it's like to become parents. It is also for people to interact and exchange views with us so we can learn from each other. I said "us" because the husband will also share his parenting thoughts to me and I am going to have to write it down.

We are dedicating this blog to our daughter and to all the parents out there.